"Developing" Pains

One of the most dreadful schooled experiences with literacy I had was when I first started writing essays. I hate academic writing. I hate it. Nothing traumatic ever happened to me to make me hate it, it’s my soul that hates it. I resisted writing academically at all costs. I got away with it mostly in middle school, but once I got to high school there was no getting around it, especially since I was in honors and AP classes. The rigidness of learning how to write academically always made me cringe. All throughout high school I was told that I was a relatively good writer, but that I needed to develop more. However, no one, absolutely no one told me what that meant. In my head, when I read my own essays, I understood what I meant. I knew the points that I was getting at. But still on my papers it would consistently say “B-/C+ Good use of diction, fluid and mature style, great transitions, needs more development”. No other human being hated the word “develop” more than I did in high school. Peer editing was of no use either. The kids in my classes would read essays then give a hearty “Good job” without even giving any constructive criticism. That was mainly because everyone hated peer editing essays. After being told over and over again that my writing was underdeveloped, I finally learned how develop my essays my senior year in my AP Literature class. At that point it was either figure out what was wrong with my writing or fail the AP exam. Since I took AP classes mainly to receive college credit, I finally figured out how properly develop my essays. Even now as a college senior, the word “develop” makes me grit my teeth.